I am a non-smoker. I have been a non-smoker for a total of 16 days now. I am no longer smoking two packs a day, as I was sixteen days ago.
Why did I quit?
Because I took my girls home to see their American grandparents--my Mom and Dad. My Mom and Dad would kill me if they knew that I smoked, so I had no choice but to go cold turkey. Plus the no smoking policy on international flights pretty much promotes smokers going cold turkey anyway.
Korean Air lines in-flight videos on the way there and the jet lag once we got there distracted me from the withdrawal symptoms and it all seemed almost too easy.
Then I stepped off the plane in Japan this past Monday--back home again. I lined up in a long que for FOREIGNERS whilst my husband and daughters skipped through one of the lines for JAPANESE. I dug out my iPod from my purse to entertain myself for the nearly hour wait I had in line. I was finger printed and photographed. My only subversive act was to refuse to smile (which, being Japanese, they probably appreciated) and I refused to talk (which, again, being Japanese they probably appreciated). But still, I am a smiley talkative American, so it was subversive behavior for ME.
So. Now, suddenly, sixteen days into being a non-smoker I am dying for a ciggy. Or maybe just one PACK.
However, second-hand smoke is not good for children, nor is it acceptable role modeling to be seen smoking by ones children. Therefore, I will NOT take up smoking again.
I just wish I could get my hands on some Xanax.
It might not be the life I planned to star in but it is mine and it is mid-act! What's posted here isn't a daily diary type blog. . . more of a collection of essays about life as it happens to me. Or about me as I live life? Depends on my mood--sometimes I'm passive and sometimes I'm active, but I'm always in the play!
Writer's quote
"I thought it. I said it. I wrote it. I read it. It's fact."
About Me: I'm an American living in Fukui, Japan (still) with my Japanese husband and 2 daughters.
Blogs I Read
- 7:10 to TOKYO
- BabyMoon
- Blooming
- Cafe Yamashita
- Gaijin Fujin
- Gaijin Mama
- GirlJapan
- Home
- Homesick Home
- Hyotenka
- Illahee's Blog
- International Marriage
- Liberal Japan
- Life of an American Mommy in Japan
- Medeafication
- Mikan Days
- Mommy Colored Glasses
- Mommy in Japan
- Mothers Who Write
- Ramblings of a 30 Something
- Re-Entry Japan
- Sakura Family
- Tiger Mama Talks
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Rehearsal Times Over
I was on the phone with a friend the other day, following the same loop of conversation that our weekly chats do: touch on family, marital relationships, child rearing issues, general malaise and frustration with waking up every day in the same old rut. . .and she cut me off mid-sentence with, "This isn't a dress rehearsal you know. This is it."
She got me to thinking and you know what? She's right. This is it. Lot's of parts of the picture may not be from "The Life I Am Supposed to be Living" or even many from "The Life I Imagined I would be Living" but this IS the Life I am Living! So. Rehearsal Times Over and we're already mid act!
Why I Choose to Blog (semi) Anonymously
Because I write creative non-fiction prose. And because I always write from only one perspective: mine. So think of the poor helpless material--er, I mean my family. My eldest daughter is 9, my youngest 4. Neither one can read English, so they presently haven't got even the slightest chance of logging on and setting the record straight. You know, the youngest can't write a stinging retort to my description of her as a "crying worm", the eldest can't sneak up and after reading quickly over my shoulder say, "hey, Mom, that's kinda personal isn't it? Do you have to tell people everything? About me?"
Then there is my husband. Albeit I never worry for even a fraction of a second that he might log on and read my blog. Why? Well, he considers reading my writing torture, because I write in English. This as opposed to reading my writing in Japanese which he finds amusing because of the mistakes I make, like using the word "carrot" (ninjin) for "person"(ningen). Reading English is part of his job, not part of his down time. So unless my blog's URL ever ends up on an interdepartmental memo as prioritized reading. . .
However, I will use my own name, Laura. I'm the one behind the words, me, Laura. But my husband, here he is Masa because I love the sound of that particular Japanese man's name, but not because it is his. And my daughters are Reno (for the American city in which she was born) and Saki Because that is actually the name I wanted to name her. Except Americans pronounce sake (Japanese rice wine)--"saw-key"-- which is the same pronounciation as the Japanese girl's name "Saki". And I didn't want people thinking that I was naming my kids after alcoholic beverages, but I still really like the name.
Then there is my husband. Albeit I never worry for even a fraction of a second that he might log on and read my blog. Why? Well, he considers reading my writing torture, because I write in English. This as opposed to reading my writing in Japanese which he finds amusing because of the mistakes I make, like using the word "carrot" (ninjin) for "person"(ningen). Reading English is part of his job, not part of his down time. So unless my blog's URL ever ends up on an interdepartmental memo as prioritized reading. . .
However, I will use my own name, Laura. I'm the one behind the words, me, Laura. But my husband, here he is Masa because I love the sound of that particular Japanese man's name, but not because it is his. And my daughters are Reno (for the American city in which she was born) and Saki Because that is actually the name I wanted to name her. Except Americans pronounce sake (Japanese rice wine)--"saw-key"-- which is the same pronounciation as the Japanese girl's name "Saki". And I didn't want people thinking that I was naming my kids after alcoholic beverages, but I still really like the name.
8 comments:
good luck!!
Congratulations!
I've seen Nicorette-type gum in pharmacies here. Are there any other quit-smoking aids available where you are?
It totally sucks right now but it'll make such a huge impact on your health in the future. Keep it up.
AWESOME! You ARE a non-smoker! Keep saying that over and over and over. Congratulations! I'm glad you are back blogging...I've missed you! Hugs.
Good luck!!
Congratulations. Giving up cold turkey isn't something everyone can do!!
I'm gload you are back blogging too :)
I MISSED YOU! I was a bit worried and have come so close to digging up your phone # from our previous attempts to get together a couple of years ago but thought you would think I am a weirdo to suddenly call you and say "how ya doin?". Anyhow- that is fantastic you have quit smoking!
I hope you get back to your fantastic writing. Perhaps with fidgety fingers of wanting a cigarette could be put to use on the keyboard :)
oooh-you're back!! Lovely to see you on here! Hope you continue to be a non-smoker!
Yaaaaaaaaaay, you're back!
I noticed when we went through Narita that they now have a separate (shorter) line for "re-entry permit holders."
The best thing about those separate lines, for me, was the time I handed off three cranky Japanese passport-holding kids to my Japanese husband -- including a baby with a poopy diaper -- and blithely strolled over for a nice solitary wait with the other aliens.
YAY! Glad you are blogging again, have been wondering how life is treating you! :-)
Congrats on giving up smoking. I hear the first month is the hardest. You must be on month two now- how is it going?
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