tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post1801302055397480189..comments2023-03-13T22:51:22.822+09:00Comments on Rehearsal Times Over: "L" is for Loyalty: Is the Loyal Samurai Trustworthy?coarse gold girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06004484019542589905noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-46192429914199750322007-10-04T11:36:00.000+09:002007-10-04T11:36:00.000+09:00Haha I, good comeback!Haha I, good comeback!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11634221078922326881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-27613272332588572932007-10-04T06:11:00.000+09:002007-10-04T06:11:00.000+09:00Just wanna say I like your blog very much, and wil...Just wanna say I like your blog very much, and will be a reader -- though as all of my blog buddies know, I've become a lurker rather than a commenter these days.<BR/><BR/>My own husband likes to point out that he does so much more at home than his own father ever did -- exponentially more. I counter that by pointing out that he does so much less at home than I do.L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13437332749627332216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-15525461910515442102007-10-02T02:18:00.000+09:002007-10-02T02:18:00.000+09:00Montchan,How long were you married before he cheat...Montchan,<BR/>How long were you married before he cheated (if you don't mind me asking?).Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11634221078922326881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-29015993311564788112007-09-30T06:32:00.000+09:002007-09-30T06:32:00.000+09:00Yes, I also trusted my husband and thought I marri...Yes, I also trusted my husband and thought I married a fabulous guy. Until he cheated.mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16665363192631460911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-51127480556342841772007-09-28T15:40:00.000+09:002007-09-28T15:40:00.000+09:00Haha Laura,That's a very funny story.Actually, my ...Haha Laura,<BR/><BR/>That's a very funny story.<BR/><BR/>Actually, my husband used to buy porno dvd's as well. But one day i said to him, if i get one more parcel delivered here that i have to sign for, they're going in the bin and i'm not tell you.<BR/><BR/>That scared him (the fact he was paying for something he might never get and never know when it was in the bin) so he stopped.<BR/><BR/>I mean there are times when we can enjoy adult entertainment together but those times have been rare because he feels embarrassed watching it with me. <BR/><BR/>So anyways, yeah. When i say i'm gonna look at porn on the net though he's like "go for it". Maybe he thinks i wouldn't pick on him so much if i was busy with my own collection haha :)<BR/><BR/>Though the thought of looking at other men sickens me. I only want to look at the one i married. (aww).<BR/><BR/>KelKellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11634221078922326881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-15119669041419747492007-09-28T09:40:00.000+09:002007-09-28T09:40:00.000+09:00Azumari--When I first met DH he was into porn. No...Azumari--<BR/>When I first met DH he was into porn. Not movies so much but the magazines. He had a bachelor pad in Yokohama and one closet was stacked with porn mags. (I'm talking Japanese oshire so imagine how many mags that is!) He claimed that his college friends brought them over to his house because they couldn't keep them at home/at their places. Riiiiight. . . . Well when I moved to Yokohama to live with him after graduation I tried to get rid of them. He wouldn't. "They're not mine!" he protested. <BR/><BR/>At the time he was working at a juku and I was working at an English factory. So I finished work at 10p.m. then went out drinking with my coworkers. He finished work at around midnight or 1 a.m. So sometimes when I would come home I would go into that room, open the closet and take out a few magazines, rip up all the pictures of naked women in them and then carefully replace them in the stack. Two years later when I moved back to the states for graduate school there was only printed matter left in that closet. <BR/><BR/>It was kind of funny as he couldn't say anything about it because he "claimed" that he wasn't looking at the magazines. So. If he wasn't looking why would he know what damage I was doing to them? LOL. <BR/><BR/>Also, before moving to Yokohama I turned the tables on him and asked my sorority sisters to donate all copies of PlayGirl that they had to me. So when he came for Spring break my senior year he walked into my apartment to find one closet full of Play Girl magazines. It really bothered him. In fact, even though I explained that I got nothing out of PlayGirl except for a good laugh maybe he still insisted that it was insulting to him for me to be looking at other naked men. (although note, his collection of Playboy magazines was STILL in his closet when I got to Japan 6 months later!) <BR/><BR/>Having said all that though. . . these days I think that a couple that can be open and honest about any porn habits/preferences,likes between them is dealing with it in a healthier way than the way I delt with it at the age of 21. <BR/><BR/>Sarah,<BR/><BR/>WHY didn't I think to tell my husband that? "We are not going to be one step above the worst dads, we are going to be leading the best dads." That rocks. That is EXACTLY how I feel it should be!<BR/><BR/>Lauracoarse gold girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06004484019542589905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-64230853621312929182007-09-27T17:10:00.000+09:002007-09-27T17:10:00.000+09:00Hi Sarah,My friends all say the same thing as you....Hi Sarah,<BR/><BR/>My friends all say the same thing as you. <BR/><BR/>Glad to hear your husband is doing the right thing! :)Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11634221078922326881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-36531112728942304122007-09-25T23:08:00.000+09:002007-09-25T23:08:00.000+09:00This is one of those cultural things I don't get, ...This is one of those cultural things I don't get, either. When we first moved back to Japan, my husband got a regular job in a regular company and at first he enjoyed getting to know the other guys in the company (he's a people person!). The more he got to know them, the harder it was to understand them, though. They worked so hard "for their family" but then cheated on their wives and never actually spent time with their families because of the stress of their job. It was such a weird circle that they couldn't get themselves out of and my husband said the same thing as yours, "I'm such a great husband because I'm not like those guys".<BR/><BR/>But I told him that I did not marry those other guys and I don't care about what they do but I do care about what you do and how you treat this family and I'm not talking about sleeping around with some other girl because that is not even an option for you to think about even once. You will be a good husband and a good father the way you know that you should be even if it's way beyond what everyone else is doing. We are not going to be one step above the worst dads, we are going to be leading the best dads so get out of bed and come spend time with your children!<BR/><BR/>... or something like that! I know what I wrote above sounds so crazy but I seriously did not get married and have children just to raise them by myself while my husband pats himself on the back for not sleeping around on us.<BR/><BR/>Needless to say, I am very proud of my husband for all that he does for us and my girls know that he loves them not just because he says it but because he shows it. Although every so often he does need a reminder or a refresher course because the girls have hit a new stage as they grow up.<BR/><BR/>Also to Azumarisan, your husband is wrong! It's not a right to look at porn, it's selfish, especially since it has hurt you.<BR/><BR/>Okay, I let off some steam! This is a very thought provoking post. Thanks, Laura!Sarah@mommyinjapanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01461367282447656731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9137044632467935627.post-46318873536228422242007-09-25T02:06:00.000+09:002007-09-25T02:06:00.000+09:00Laura,It all rings a bell with me. I feel exactly ...Laura,<BR/><BR/>It all rings a bell with me. I feel exactly the same way as you do about the sex industry in Japan and the fact that society doesn't bat an eyelid, in fact they probably expect that at some stage in the marriage a man will cheat, and when he does, they are there to offer every service imagineable.<BR/><BR/>Just because i live outside of Japan doesn't mean i'm any less worried about hubby cheating. Well, the first few years i always worried that he would meet someone and have an affair. These days, he works usually 6 to 7 days a week, long hours, i just don't see him doing it. My faith is in the fact that he's too tired to be bothered. He comes home at night and flops down on the lounge in front of the tv, and that is my guarantee that no, he's not doing it with anyone else.<BR/><BR/>Though he does look. I mean, "porn" has been his habit since we first got married. Not so sure if it's a Japanese man thing or a man thing in general. But hubby thinks it's his basic "right" to look at and download porn off the net.<BR/><BR/>Many an argument has been had over the fact but i can't say i've ever presented a good enough argument to change his mind. Even when i said it was me or the porn, what did he pick? You guessed it, the porn. So that argument didn't work. And the answer just made me feel downright depressed.<BR/><BR/>Many a morning i have spent with my nose and one eye peering into the gap of the noren to see what he is up to (he doesn't know i'm there), then when i walk through he quickly closes the window. Does he think i'm that stupid that i don't know what he's doing? Oh well, it's a kind of laugh.<BR/><BR/>I used to think him watching porn was an insult. Because here i am, i'm in bed laying down, a real woman in the flesh and he's looking at naked tarts on there...he could be laying in bed with me snuggling up...for free...but no.<BR/><BR/>These days i'm completely over it. I just have to laugh to myself. Men's stupidity, you know? <BR/><BR/>I guess that's the only real quirk in him that i don't really like, but i got used to it. It's all i can do really. <BR/><BR/>(upon reading this back it sounds pretty depressing! This used to take up alot of my thoughts and emotions but i don't spend much time on it these days, for the record, though reading your post it just reminded me)<BR/><BR/>Glad to hear your hubby hasn't cheated though :) <BR/><BR/>About the guy who cheated and then stole money...how could he show his face in the town again? He's got more guts than i would give him credit for. And the fact that everyone welcomes him, just makes me feel sick. If it was me i would have given him a good kick up the you-know-where!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11634221078922326881noreply@blogger.com